Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Annie's 2 Month Update

Annie is 2 months old!  I know!  Tell me about it, next thing I know she’ll be turning 18…


We sure think she is the ‘bees knees’ and the ‘cat’s pajamas’!  Good gravy, do we think she is cute stuff!
   
This month’s milestones are smiling, coos, and has found her hand and focuses on it.   She is now up to 11 lbs and nearly 23 inches long.  And an extra bonus for Mom is she is fitting into her cute clothes now.

She is still an amazing eater.  At the beginning of this month though, we did change how we feed her.  She was throwing up after each nursing session, and I’m not talking just a little spit up, it was a lot and it really upset her stomach.  We found thru trial and error that she had such a strong latch that we needed to slow down the flow.  So I went exclusively to pumping and nursing thru bottles and it solved the problem.  It stinks because it’s so time consuming!  I pump every 3 hours and when I’m on my own during the days I have to sneak it in when she is sleeping which can be difficult to plan.
 
Right now, I’m still pumping enough for her daily intake so I hate to stop the process sooner than 6 months but at the same time, when I go back to work, I don’t want it to take away from our time together in the evenings either so we’ll see how things go… I can’t believe the PRESSURE that society puts on mom’s now of days to breastfeed, it’s ridiculous.  I feel there is a lot of judgment if you don’t breastfeed and feel there are also strong opinions about exclusively pumping.  Folks need to chill.  I personally feel a stronger bond nursing her thru a bottle then directly from me because it requires one hand on the bottle and one hand on her so I focus on her more than when I was nursing directly I had her propped up and I was on Facebook the entire time, I didn’t feel any ‘bonding’ from directly nursing her since I preoccupied myself on Facebook during her feedings.  And why do people ask “are you breastfeeding?” it’s such a weird question to ask anyways.  Who knew it could be SUCH a topic!?!!!  I don’t mind chatting about it with other new moms, but that’s it.

Annie is officially sleeping clear thru the night!  Hip Hip Hooray!  Amazingly I have yet experience sleep deprivation, she has always done well in this department.  Thru my maternity leave, I woke up Sunday thru Thurs with her and Aaron handled Friday and Saturdays.  9 out of 10 times it was a quick feeding and back to bed in 30-45 minutes and only once a night.  Aaron probably got the 2 worse nights thus far.  But he also was turning on all the lights, singing and talking to her whereas I go in with the lights dimmed, feed and don’t say one word.  I’m not about play time at 2 am.   I think Aaron has caught on to my method now.  The only thing that sucks, although she is sleeping thru the night, I still have to get up and pump.  I only get up once during the night though.  Oh, how I hate pumping!  It seems like every time I turn around, it’s time to pump. 

So she is a good sleeper so we have the all-around perfectly happy baby, right?  Well….  She is super fussy, a few weeks in a row she would basically cry nonstop from 6 pm to 10 pm.  It was exhausting.  I don’t believe in just leaving her to cry it out so I would hold her, reposition her, change her diaper constantly, cluster feed, swaddle, shush, swing, play, administer gripe water… NOTHING and I mean NOTHING worked.  The swaddle and shush worked the best of them all.  At her 2 month appointment, our Pediatrician put her on baby Zantac, he thinks she has silent reflux.  Poor baby girl!  Things have definitely improved over the last few weeks but she still has quite a few fussy moments.  I cannot wait until we get past this.  It feels very helpless as a mom to not be able to do anything to comfort your baby.   I know what you are thinking, colic.  I kinda resent that word.  To me, it has so many negative connotations attached to it that I hate to use it to describe my own baby.  So maybe I’m in denial and need to admit I have a colicky baby.   On the plus side, I read that babies with colic tend to be a lot more outgoing and are over achievers in life so take that all you who have non-colicky babies!  


Annie is super strong!  I knew this before she was born, kicking the crap out of me.  But we actually got confirmation of this at her 2 month appointment.  The Pediatrician was very surprised by her strength and commented that her head control and strength is what he would normally see in a 4 month old.  We are pretty certain she will be an Olympic Gymnast.  Literally a mile from our house is the training center that Shawn Johnson and Gabby Douglas trained at.  You betcha we plan on enrolling her over there as soon as she is old enough to start.  Both Aaron and I agree that we aren’t going to push our dreams on her but I really hope she loves gymnastics!

Aaron and I have managed to have several date nights out minus baby and one date day with Annie in tow.  Our goal is to not stop ‘life’ just because we have a baby.  I’ve even been to the movies twice this month, btw… The Other Woman is hilarious!  It’s a must see movie.


My maternity leave is officially over.  {Sad face}  We did a few hours of daycare last week to ease into things and that went very well.  At first the plan was to do 2 full days of daycare but then I chickened out and couldn’t give up two full days with my baby so we did half days.  My 9.5 weeks with Annie has gone entirely too fast.  *SIGH*  But 2 months at home with my baby girl has been quite blissful! 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Who Does She Get Her Amazing GOOD Looks From?!?!

I can't decide!  Who does she look like?  I see both Aaron and I in her but I just can't say who she looks more like... Maybe me?  Aaron kind of has a long face doesn't he? She has more of my shape but Annie's head is more round than both of ours.  But these are also at different ages too, so maybe it's too early to be doing these comparisons?  Should I revisit this at 6 months perhaps? 

What do you think?  You tell me! 

Erin

Annie 

Aaron

Saturday, May 3, 2014

6 Weeks Postpartum

This week I had my 6 week postpartum checkup so thought it would be a good time to blog an update.   

Let’s start at week 1.  Week 1 was tough.  I was an emotional roller coaster, which isn’t like me at all.  I was very upset with how my birthing experience went.   I felt robbed of this ‘joyful experience’ that everyone talks about.  Yes, I was extremely happy and beyond grateful that we had a healthy baby girl but I was so overwhelmed with everything that happened at the hospital that it was very difficult for me to feel that joyful feeling which also made me feel guilty, like why was I not having this amazing feeling despite everything that happened?  Instead I was full of anxiety and was dealing with terrible side effects of having a c-section and was so exhausted.  There were moments of happiness, especially when holding our little Annie but the majority of that week was just flat out stressful.

Week 1 – 2 adjusting to a newborn wasn’t too difficult actually.   Aaron was around for the first week and helped out quite a bit.  By week 2 I finally rid my body of all those crazy hormones and stopped having meltdowns.  Thankfully!  Haven’t had a meltdown since. 

Recovering from a c-section is serious stuff folks.  I knew it would be bad but I didn’t know how bad it really is.  It’s tough.  Everything you do pulls at those muscles and inflicts pain.  It took me 5 ½ weeks before I started to feel completely normal.  I’m not patient at all so the recovery was really frustrating for me.  I have many friends who have had c-sections and I’ve never thought much of it honestly, never thought of them as any ‘lesser of a mom’ for having one but for some reason I felt like a complete failure for having one.  The feelings of  ‘failure’ have now passed, as I had mentioned in a previous post, I know it happened for a reason to keep my little Annie healthy and on a positive note I can’t look back and say I should have done this or I should have tried that… I gave it my ALL.  So that helps me put it to peace that I have nothing I can say I could have done within my control to change the outcome.   

I am a bit disappointed though, during my 6 week checkup, I asked if I am a good candidate for a VBAC down the road and how long is appropriate to wait.  The doctor said that in my situation, because Annie got stuck on my bone structure the chances are slim, 13% success rate for a VBAC in this situation.  And the chances of uterine rupture is 1% which is low and rare but the possibility still exists.  Not what I wanted to hear at all! I already know that will now be a stressful decision as to what I decide to opt for in how I deliver my next baby when that time comes.

Lately my last few weeks have been lots of ‘fun’ sorting thru $45,000 worth of doctor bills.  Yes, $45,000!  Thank goodness for insurance!  But I’m the type that won’t just pay something without understanding what I’m paying for so combing thru the medical lingo and making the phone calls to understand what all the charges are for has been a headache. 

I just started working out again.  I’m really motivated to get back into shape.  I was at one of my favorite stores Banana Republic and haven’t shopped there in months, all the cute clothes!  ARG!  I can’t wait to drop this baby weight!  Some days I feel ‘skinny-ish’ and other days I feel like I have a ways to go to get back into shape. 

Hanging out with Annie all day long is good stuff.   When I was pregnant I would really take notice to other pregnant people and newborns.  Now since I have a newborn, I really take notice to older babies and toddlers; can’t wait till she is a little older and we can play and read.  Until then holding her in my arms, smelling the top of her head for that sweet baby scent and dreaming of what little personality she will have and what her thoughts are and as crazy as it sounds, I’ve been dreaming of her wedding too!   Why in the world would I ever want her to grow up so fast I’m not sure but I have fun holding her and dreaming up this BIG life I have envisioned for her.   And at times I hold her and think to myself, has this all really sunk in for me yet?  I’m a MOM!  That is a serious title.  I also think back to when Aaron and I started dating and then my mind goes thru this crazy 9 year time warp of how we got to where we are today and I’m like holy crap we have a baby!!  CRAZINESS!   I know… I think way too much!  I’m terrible at over-thinking and analyzing everything!  What if my baby is a little mini-me over analyzer!?  Yikes! 


Anywho, the last 6 weeks has been an adventure, having a baby is a game changer, that’s for sure but in a good way.  This is going to be a BIG year, I just know it.  SO much to look forward to!