Pregnancy Journal: Weeks 8-10

So here are weeks 8-10!  Already feels so long ago since I wrote this but just sharing pieces at a time until we get up to where I'm at today.  Remember, it may sound choppy, it's a journal, I wrote paragraphs on different days so yep, I know, it's a choppy read.

Week 8:

Starting to get anxious to start on the nursery but told myself I would wait a little longer.  I'm excited to work with a clean slate, design the nursery from top to bottom and I'm going to be very particular on what we buy for the baby.  I have a vision, and my vision is more of a baby girl room.  I asked Aaron if he had to choose, boy or girl, which he prefers and he couldn't tell me one way or another.  Which drives me nuts because I'm a decisive person.  If you ask me, I'll say girl. I want a boy eventually too so if we get a boy first, there will be no disappointment but if you want to know my preference, I'm telling you a girl first.  Aaron needs to make up his mind, I don't like wishy-washy answers. 

I've been reading that my hormones/emotions should be changing like crazy right now.  But I feel real even keel.  From friend's stories and reading online, I'm a little worried when that is going to kick in.  I tend to be pretty even keel emotionally.  I don't consider myself a real emotional person.  But when I do... I go way off the deep end. I know Aaron said he is concerned for when I do have my first meltdown as he has experienced a few of my psychotic moments over the years.  I don't blame him for being scared! I'm still a happy camper and nothing has gotten me bent out of shape.  He agrees I was not a bridezilla during the wedding planning process, so maybe, just maybe I will be able to hold my raging hormones together for the next 8 months. 

I bought my first pregnancy magazine.  Started flipping thru it, saw an ad for nipple cream that cures dry chaffing, cracked nipples.  Totally freaked the bejeebers out of me and had to stop reading it and I haven't opened that magazine since.  Oh dear... the things that haven't even crossed my mind yet....

So I had a rehearsal dinner to attend and decided not to buy a new dress and choose from the 46 dresses hanging in my closet (yes I have 46, I counted recently, a bit overkill I know!)  So I had pulled out a perfect one.  Threw it on and started to zip it up the side.  I got it to the bottom of my chest and could not get it up.  Hollered at Aaron to come help me and we tried and tried to get it zipped with no luck.  I looked at myself in the mirror and the dress has a v-neck and I looked like a busted can of Pillsbury biscuits.  I wanted to cry.  Most people would probably love the fact that their boobs are growing, I hate it.  After trying on multiple dresses with the same issue, I finally found one that came clear up to my collar bone and covered me appropriately in all the right spots.  I knew as you become pregnant, your breasts grow but I had no idea it happens so early.  Lately I've been wearing extra tight sports bras, not only to flatten them but in hopes that it is cutting off my blood supply to stop them from getting any bigger! 

Still no crazy emotional outbursts.  Still feeling my usual self.  I think Aaron is more 'hormonal' than I am at times! 

8 WEEKS!

Week 9: 

TIRED!  It really doesn't matter how much sleep I get, I'm still tired.  It's been a long week because I've been anxiously awaiting for my FIRST appt this coming Friday.  YIPPEE!  Excited/Nervous/Anxious!  Can't wait!  Aaron is taking me out on a date after our appt!  Although nothing, absolutely nothing sounds good so we'll see what I can stomach to eat. 

I still don't feel a strong 'bond/connection' to this baby yet.  That sounds bad too.  I don't think I will until either after I hear the heart beat, my belly starts to grow, or I start to feel movement.  I feel like I should be having some 'motherly bond' right now but I'm just not really feeling much outside of tired & sick.  I pray for the baby and wonder a lot about it and life to come but what's this bond thing really all about?  I read that I should be taking time out of my day each day to rest my hands on my tummers and think about the parent I want to be.  That sounds relaxing and a good idea, I will be trying that soon.  What kind of mom do I want to be?  Heck if I know!  How about a cool mom for starters. 

First appointment went well!  I think my 'little nutmeg' looks pretty darn cute already.  My doctor was able to find it right away and the heartbeat sounded great.  I had 2 areas of concern when I saw my sonogram... first note how large the head is.  I freaked out thinking about how Aaron has a large head and how in the world will I give birth to that head but come to find out, it is completely normal for the head to look bigger than the rest of the body right now.  Secondly, notice the dark spot in the head?  Good to know the doctor said that is normal too, it isn't missing a brain or have a hole in it's head, sometimes these dark spots show up in the ultrasound and it means basically nothing at all. WHEEW! 

9 WEEKS!

Look at Baby Hyde wave to us! 

Week 10: 

1/4 of the way DONE!  I'm learning a ton lately.  And feeling a bit overwhelmed at our 'to-do's' for the next few months considering I'd like to have most of it done before the holidays come.  Daycares, crib, registry, clearing out the nursery, etc.  I'm normally a decisive person but there are lots of decisions that are kinda stressful to make because I know they will directly impact our little babe'ers.  So important we make the right choices for our little bambino.  I was reading up on Consumer Reports on cribs and so much to take into consideration from a safety perspective.

Got a care package in the mail from a dear friend today.  Her note was super sweet and it was filled with some great goodies for the baby and us.  Just made my day!  My favorite part of her note read: "You will get a lot of advice and opinions.  No matter who tells you what - even me :) - your heart and your mommy intuition is ALWAYS right for your baby."  I loved that and it's a good point for me to remember!  I'm so blessed with great family and friends, whether it's just talking to my Mom/Grandma, a husband who fulfills my crazy requests, exchanging emails with a friend on advice, care package from a friend I love to pieces or a friend-coworker whom I bombard with questions.  So great to have that kind of support and help!  I'd be sooo lost without you all!  

I had a bday party to attend and my shorts fitted too tight (sad face!) I went thru 5 outfits before I finally found one that conceals and made me feel good.  Okay, admission...I've been eating every twinkie, chocolate, french fry, sweet, deep fried thing in site.  Damn, I think I'm just getting flat out fat.  I was able to squeeze into my size zero jeans this morning but I can tell that ain't gonna last long as I think the waist of them are so tight it is creating the 'muffin top' look.  Yikes.  Better get to walking and try to manage this weight gain better before it gets out of control. 

10 WEEKS!